Rigby The Idiot
by The Angry American
Summary: Rigby decides to do something dangerous and daring thanks to a TV show he sees. But his little stunt will bring unexpected consequences. Guess who'll get the worst of it... MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH INCLUDED. Rated M for safety.


**"Rigby The Idiot"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything associated with "Regular Show" or it's characters. Just saying.**

* * *

It was finally daybreak. There was a huge morning commute and everyone was enjoying a good time on a day like this. The smell of coffee and the sound of an airplane going by sounded like daylight to Mordecai.

He enjoyed a good night's sleep, all until he was awaken by the sound of a Boeing 747 flying by the park house he resided in with Rigby.

Mordecai woke up immediately, only to realize a ladder hanging by the window which led to the roof of the house.

"Well, I didn't know Pops was painting the house." Mordecai yawned, "This is unexpected of him."

After Mordecai got his teeth brushed, he went outside to get this week's Sunday paper. After all, nothing felt good than reading the funny papers. Sure, the Sunday papers were full of personal stuff like the economy and sports, but nothing brought a smile to Mordecai's face like reading a good comic or two.

"Nice. Garfield's on there." Mordecai chuckled.

But before he could leave inside the house, something caught Mordecai's eye.

The image of a ramp standing on top of the house. How in the hell did it get there in the first place.

"What the-?" Mordecai said, feeling speechless all of a sudden.

There couldn't be a reason why there would be a ramp covering most of the patio and over the house. And the loop that was added to the ramp made it extra dangerous.

But Mordecai found an explanation for all of this when Rigby's voice was heard from above.

"Hey, Mordecai! Up here!"

When the bluejay heard Rigby's voice come to him, Mordecai looked up on top of the house to see Rigby on the roof with a shopping cart.

"Rigby, tell me you're on crack right now." Mordecai muttered, hitting his forehead in embarrassment.

"Even better, Mordecai!" Rigby exclaimed, "I'm gonna do something I never thought of before! You ever see skateboarders try to go through a loop-de-loop. And then I thought, why try a skateboard, when you can try a good old-fashioned shopping cart instead?"

"This is lame, Rigby!" Mordecai sighed stressfully, "You're gonna kill yourself, even if you try to make it, and especially if you're doped up. Have you ever seen the shows where the disclaimer tells you that you can't try this at home?"

Then again, Rigby thought twice about doing something like this. It reminded him of that time he and Mordecai watched that stunt show on TV.

_***Flashback***_

Mordecai and Rigby are kicking back in their sofa with two cokes and a entire bag of Doritos. They're switching channels non-stop until a Jackass-type show comes on. But before the show started, a disclaimer popped up.

_"Warning... the following show features stunts performed by professionals and under the supervision of professionals. Accordingly, the producers of this show must suggest that no one, regardless of any age, should try this stuff or activity performed on this show."_ The announcer said.

The words however, forced Rigby to stand up on the sofa, indicating an idea.

"Oh, I so want to try it!" Rigby exclaimed in victory.

"Oh, god..." Mordecai groaned.

_***Back to reality***_

"Yeah, like I care what you think, Mordecai! I'm telling you, it's practically fine!" Rigby said, minding his own business.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you and all..." Mordecai rolled his eyes.

The raccoon managed to get on the shopping cart while Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost managed to keep track of him from the roof. The overweight dwarf held on to the handles while Rigby turned to him.

"Ready when you are, bro!" Muscle Man exclaimed.

"Ready! Let's do this!" Rigby shouted out.

"I hope he's got a morgue ready for him..." Mordecai muttered behind Rigby's back.

Feeling pumped up, Rigby hung on to the metal bars while Muscle Man pushed the whole cart down the ramp.

The speed Rigby picked up was rip-roaring at best. He was going down like an airplane ready to crash. But that's what Rigby wanted. He wanted to go fast like he never went fast before.

But there came the loop-de-loop. It was the motherload of all skateboard ramps. Many people have tried it, but a few have succeeded. Could Rigby be one of the few who makes it out alive? The result however, wen't like this:

Rigby made it all the way up and...

...

...

...

...fell out of the shopping cart.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Rigby screamed all the way down.

But to add insult to injury, the shopping cart had flown, aiming for the house and Mordecai together.

"Oh, crap!" Mordecai yelped, jumping out of the way so that he wouldn't get hurt by the flying shopping cart.

But something devastating happened. Right as the cart was about to hit the house, their boss Benson walked outside, trying to figure out what was going on.

Noticing the ramp on top of the house, Benson snapped, "What in the heck's going on here-"

But their boss would never finish that statement, as soon as he saw the flying shopping cart...

*BOOOOOOOOOM!*

The shopping cart nailed Benson right in the head in blunt force. It hit him twice the force of a meteorite! Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High-Five Ghost all cringed at the scene together!

"Oh shit! Benson!" Mordecai cried out.

Despite the rough hard landing that Rigby took, the raccoon managed to get up and check on their boss.

Mordecai got the shopping cart off of Benson's body, but it was too late. Even when Muscle Man checked on his pulse, the damage was already done.

Benson was dead. Mordecai could notice because their boss's forehead was shattered completely, forcing his gumballs to spill all across the floor.

"He's... he's dead." Mordecai shuddered.

"Oh no, bro! I can't be blamed for this! What the heck were we thinking?" Muscle Man whined, losing control of his emotions.

"Try blaming Rigby, Muscle Man!" Mordecai exclaimed, turning his attention to the raccoon, "Didn't I tell you not to try something like this? You just killed Benson, man!"

"I'm sorry, Mordecai! I didn't know this would happen! I swear!" Rigby cried out in fear.

They all looked down on a dead Benson. They were cringing so bad that they were gonna vomit. It was such an uneasy sight to see. But yet, they tried to see the light of this tragic situation.

"Okay..." Mordecai sniffled, wiping up his tears, "We'll... we'll just say that Benson went missing. They'll buy that..."

"Yeah. If the police finds out, we'll just tell him it was an accident." Rigby sighed.

"But what about Thomas?" High-Five Ghost reminded him, "For goodness sake, he saw everything!"

But then, the foursome saw Thomas standing there with a shocked look on his face. In the intern's mind, he thought that Mordecai and the trio had murdered the hell out of Benson. The goat intern was too frozen to call the police. Not to mention that his jaw dropped instaneously. But Mordecai had other plans for him.

"You just leave him up to me..." Mordecai said in vengeance.

What Mordecai and the crew did to Thomas was something that couldn't be explained. And it was better kept secret to begin with.

* * *

**I hope Thomas would get the least of the damage. But I hardly think to imagine what happened to him after the story.**

**Until then, you know what to do from here. (;D)**


End file.
